The Snow Leopard's Pack (Glacier Leopards Book 5) Read online

  Cal had turned back to her. “Of course she didn’t,” he said warmly.

  That was somehow even better—the expectation of competence.

  Maybe Cal’s opinion of her hadn’t taken as much of a hit as she’d thought it would, after this afternoon.

  “Hey, so,” Teri said, and Lillian was alerted by the note in her voice, which she recognized from when Teri was a teenager—it was the I’m up to something voice. “I’m going to go call Zach and get him up to speed on what’s going on, okay? And you guys should talk. About—shifter stuff.”

  Lillian narrowed her eyes at Teri, and Cal turned to look at her. “Shifter stuff,” he echoed flatly.

  “Yes!” Teri said. She motioned back and forth between them. “Shifter...things. That might be happening. Right now. With you. Okay, I’m calling Zach, bye.” She disappeared off to another part of the house.

  Cal turned back to Lillian. “That sounded suspicious.”

  “It was.” Lillian sighed. “I have to apologize. I told her about—what happened this afternoon.”

  Cal’s face did something complicated.

  “I know that you’d probably rather your employees didn’t know about your private life,” Lillian rushed forward. She was realizing for the first time that she’d put Cal into an awkward position by telling Teri. “I’m sorry.”

  “No,” Cal said slowly. “No, she’s your sister. You shouldn’t have to hesitate over telling your sister something personal. But now I think I know what she might’ve meant about...shifter stuff.”

  Hearing Cal echo Teri’s millennial-speak in his deep, thoughtful voice was unexpectedly funny. Lillian stifled an inappropriate giggle and instead said, “She has some idea about shifter—connections, I don’t know. Something about what happened with her and Zach. I tried to tell her that the situations are different, but—”

  “No,” Cal interrupted. “No, she’s right.”

  Lillian stopped. “What?”

  “She’s right.” Cal drew her over to sit down on the couch. “I should’ve told you this right away. I thought it might be better to wait until the situation with the mountain lions was taken care of, but that was a mistake. You deserve to know.”

  “Deserve to know...what?” Lillian had no idea what he might be leading up to, and it was making her nervous.

  Cal took her hand in a gentle grip, then put his other hand on top of hers. “Shifters don’t just have relationships and marriages like humans do. Some of us—the lucky ones—have what we call true mates.”

  Mate. That was the word Cal had used before to talk about a partner. “What’s the difference?” Lillian asked cautiously.

  “A mate is more than a husband or wife. There’s a...connection. Some kind of instinctive bond between the two of you. You feel it as an attraction first, but after you—uh—” Cal coughed, “spend the night together, the shifter knows it for certain. That relationship is meant to be permanent, and supposedly the existence of the mate-bond means that you’re...suited to one another. As partners.”

  Lillian could hardly understand what this might mean. Unless he meant...but surely that was impossible, wasn’t it?

  “You’re speaking very impersonally,” she said slowly. “Is this—relevant to us somehow?”

  Maybe Cal had a mate, somewhere, and he was telling her that nothing else could happen between them because of it. If that was the case, though, he wasn’t the man Lillian had thought he was. And she was sure he wasn’t the type to cheat. It just didn’t make sense.

  But what else could it be? Surely not...

  Cal’s hands tightened on hers. “It is. Because you’re my mate, Lillian. You and I are meant to be together.”

  “But I’m not a shifter,” Lillian said blankly.

  “You don’t have to be a shifter,” Cal said. “Shifters can have human mates.”

  “But—but—” She tugged at her hands, and Cal immediately let them go. She stood up, taking a few steps away and staring blindly out the window.

  It seemed, she thought a little hysterically, that all she did in this house was flee difficult conversations.

  “But that doesn’t make any sense,” she said finally.

  “Why not?” Cal asked. He was staying on the couch, she could tell without even looking. He wouldn’t want to crowd her, she thought.

  God, he was so wonderful. Which made this even more strange and painful. That he would say something like this to her, when it was just—it was just impossible.

  “I’m not—this sort of thing doesn’t happen to me.” As she said it, she was aware of how silly she sounded. But it was true.

  “It’s not happening to you,” Cal said. “It’s happening to us.”

  Lillian turned around. “But how can there be an us? We just met yesterday.”

  “That’s how it works,” Cal said. “The mate-bond doesn’t need time. It knows.”

  Lillian shook her head. She couldn’t seem to come up with any other objection, but...it couldn’t be real. Not for her.

  Cal stood up, and came slowly over to her. Watching her carefully, she thought, looking to see if she tensed or startled.

  “Let me ask you a question, Lillian,” he said. His eyes—how could she have ever thought they were hard like iron? They were warm, warm and silvery-soft.

  “All right.” Her voice hardly trembled at all.

  “Do you want to be with me?”

  So simple.

  Did she want to be with Cal? Well, of course she did. She thought about living in that cabin, cooking with him, hearing about Glacier Park at the end of the day. And being part of Teri’s snow leopard family, then, getting to know her fiancé and all the rest of them as an insider, instead of someone poking her nose in from outside.

  And going to bed every night with Cal. Waking up every morning with him. Having hot, delicious, overwhelming sex with him...

  Lillian shivered.

  The idea of saying it out loud, though, admitting she wanted it, was daunting. Putting that vulnerability out there and waiting for it to be taken away from her...

  But Cal wasn’t threatening to take it away from her. He was offering to give it to her.

  So the question, she supposed, was how much she trusted him to keep his word.

  “Yes,” she whispered. It was almost inaudible, but from the way his eyes kindled with a silvery fire, she knew he had heard her.

  Seeing that gave her the confidence to repeat it more loudly. “Yes. Yes, I want to be with you. I can’t think of anything in the world I want more.”

  “Good,” Cal said, stepping closer and catching her hands again. “Because I can’t imagine going ahead without you. Lillian, I want you with me, in my home, in my life. I wanted you even before I realized you were my mate. Now that I know we’re meant to be together, though...it means I’m looking forward to our future and I can see so much unfolding.”

  Lillian felt tears rising again. She swallowed them back...but somehow, this time they wouldn’t go away. Her chest hurt, and her eyes were hot, and the next thing she knew, they were spilling down her cheeks.

  Cal’s face—blurry now—went sharp with concern, and he pulled her into his arms immediately, holding her tight. “What is it?” he asked softly. “What’s wrong?”

  Lillian shook her head, aware that she was probably getting his shirt all wet but unable to care. At least she’d washed most of her makeup off of her face after waking up this afternoon. “Nothing’s wrong,” she managed. “I just—I never thought that I’d—I thought I was going to live with my mother for years and years, and then just—be alone.”

  She choked on the last part, and then she was crying openly into his shoulder.

  Lillian had been so sure that her future was this empty, bleak wasteland, where she slowly paid off debt, went along with her mother’s demands, and eventually, someday, moved back out on her own. And then kept living a passionless life, going to work, coming home, and doing the same the next day. This time, maybe with
enough money for takeout now and then, if she was conscientious about saving for her retirement.

  She’d tried not to think about it too much. To take it one day at a time. But the knowledge creeped in now and then. The realization that she wasn’t doing this for anything, really. There was no prize at the end.

  “You don’t have to be alone anymore,” Cal was murmuring into her hair. “You have me now. You have me forever. And more, if you want. We can fill the house with children.”

  That made her pull back, blinking tear-filled eyes at him. “Really?”

  “Only if you want to!” Cal said hastily. As always, watching him a bit flustered melted her heart a little. It was easy to see, even through her tear-blurred vision, what he really wanted. “That’s a bit down the line, anyway.”

  “I want to,” she told him. The amount of love she could feel rising in her chest—it didn’t seem real. Could she feel this way? Could it mean something, instead of just wistful castles in the air?

  Then Cal pulled her in tight again, and there was no denying the reality of his arms around her.

  Mates. They were mates. Lillian tasted the word silently in her mouth. It felt real.

  ***

  Cal was internally berating himself for not telling Lillian that they were mates the second he’d realized it. The way she was trembling in his arms, the disbelief on her face that had slowly transformed into stunned joy...how could he have kept this from her, even for an hour?

  The fact that she’d resigned herself to being alone broke his heart. Lillian deserved all the love in the world.

  He’d have to do his best to give her his share, at the very least.

  And she’d said she did want children. He suddenly wanted to get started as soon as possible.

  “Will you come back home?” he asked her.

  She mouthed the word home, as though to herself. Cal wondered if he’d been presumptuous in calling it that so quickly. But then she broke into the sweetest, happiest smile he’d ever seen.

  “Home,” she said. “Yes. Yes, I would love to come home.”

  Teri’s curly head popped back into the room. She was holding her phone in one hand. “Hi,” she said. “Everything going okay?”

  “Teri!” Lillian broke away from Cal’s embrace—and then hesitated. Then, to Cal’s quiet delight, she stepped back toward him again. He put his arm around her shoulders, and felt her tremble again.

  “We’re mates,” Lillian said to her sister.

  Teri’s face transformed into a gleeful grin. “I knew it!” she said. She put the phone back up to her ear. “Guess what, I was totally right—” She faded back into the hallway. Talking to Zach, Cal assumed.

  Lillian was watching with a bemused expression. “I can’t believe she knew before I did,” she said. “I guess because the same thing happened to her.”

  “My fault,” Cal told her. “I should have said something right away.”

  Lillian frowned at him. “I agree. There I was, going crazy because I couldn’t believe I’d done something so impulsive as sleep with a man I’d only just met! I was wondering what you must think of me, falling in bed with you like that.”

  “I did exactly the same thing as you did,” Cal pointed out. “So it would’ve been pretty hypocritical of me to judge you for it.”

  Lillian shook her head. “There are a lot of hypocritical men out there.”

  That was true. Cal had definitely known men, both shifters and human, who would’ve called a woman some unsavory names for sleeping with a man she’d just met, but would’ve been proud of themselves if they managed to do the same thing with a strange woman. A double standard, and not one he admired at all.

  “I should’ve told you,” he repeated. “I thought it might be too much, on top of the problems you’re having with the mountain lions. Especially since you’re just learning about shifter culture for the first time. Some humans find the concept of true mates to be off-putting.”

  Lillian sobered. “I guess I can understand that,” she said. “It could’ve been overwhelming. But...it isn’t.”

  “It isn’t?” He was curious about her perspective, having this dropped on her without any previous knowledge that the mate-bond even existed.

  She shook her head. “It’s—comforting,” she said slowly. “It took me a few minutes to believe it, you saw, but now it feels...real. It feels like something I know, deep in my bones, that I’m meant for you and you’re meant for me.” She laughed a little. “It’s happened so fast. But at the same time, it’s really sunk in. And knowing that you’re going to be with me forever—that I can count on you, that I can rely on you from now on—”

  She broke off, blinking back tears again. Cal tugged her in closer, wrapping his arms around her.

  “You can,” he said softly, bending his head to touch his lips to her hair. “I don’t ever want you to feel like you’ve got to take on the world all alone. Because I’m going to be right here beside you.”

  Lillian’s arms wrapped around him, and they held each other for a long moment.

  Then she pulled back and looked him in the eye. “And the same goes for you,” she said firmly. “You’re going to have someone in your corner too, from now on.”

  That struck him unexpectedly hard. He’d been focused on Lillian, on making sure that she was all right, and on how tough her life had been. He’d wanted nothing more than for her to know that it wasn’t going to be like that any longer.

  But...the same was true for him. Sure, he’d always told himself that he was happier alone. That his cabin and his job and what he privately thought of as his Park were more than enough for him. That he had plenty to do wrangling the kids into being real, solid rangers, and he didn’t need a relationship or a family to fill out his life.

  But he’d known, deep down, that he was lying to himself. There’d been an emptiness there.

  “I wouldn’t want anyone else there,” he told Lillian now. “You—you’re just what I need.”

  He was realizing as he spoke how true that was. If there was anyone he’d trust to tell him he was making the right decision, reassure him that he wasn’t going too far as a pack leader, advise him on what to do about the kids, it was Lillian. Thoughtful, smart, and no-nonsense, an expert already at dealing with difficult people, tough family situations...Lillian struck him as a wise, wise woman already, and he knew she’d only get more so as she grew older.

  “I want you by my side in the pack,” he told her. “I need you there, if I’m going to be any better at leading them.”

  Lillian’s face was hesitant, but thoughtful. “I’m not a shifter,” she said for the second time.

  “That’s fine,” he said. “They’re not going to respect you any less, believe me. And—” Now it was his turn to hesitate. But he wanted her to know. “If you ever decide you want to be one, we can make that happen.”

  Lillian’s eyes flew wide. “Me?” she said, startled. “I couldn’t—I don’t think—”

  “It’s one hundred percent up to you,” Cal assured her. “There’s no requirement. Like I said, everyone will respect you just as much. And if you want to wait a while, make the decision later on, that’s fine too. Completely your own choice.”

  “Hm.” Lillian’s eyes were distant. Imagining what it would be like to be a snow leopard?

  Cal thought about going out hunting with her at his side—teaching their children how to roam safely through the forest together—

  Then he clamped down on those thoughts. Like he’d said, it was completely Lillian’s decision, and he didn’t want to pressure her one way or another, even inside his mind.

  Teri poked her head back in. “Hi,” she said. “Zach’s on his way home. But I just did a quick circuit around the house, and it looks like no one followed you. So it should be safe to head back to Cal’s place, if you want.”

  “Thanks, Teri,” Lillian said, before Cal could speak.

  Which was probably for the best. He wanted to insist that
Teri didn’t need to put herself at risk on their behalf, didn’t need to scout around her own home looking for hostile shifters. He wanted to tell her to forget about the situation, he’d handle it on his own.

  But the truth was, Teri was already involved—because her sister was. And she was clearly proud of herself for taking the initiative and contributing; it was all over her face and her posture. She wanted to help.

  And it was better if she helped under Cal’s eye than she decided to run off and fight mountain lions on her own. And if there was anyone in his pack who would do something like that, it was Teri for sure.

  “All right,” Cal said. “We’ll head back to my place, then. Tomorrow we’ll have a pack-wide meeting at the Park to see what we’re going to do about these mountain lions who think they can threaten one of our own.”

  Teri’s face hardened into fierce determination. “Good,” she said.

  Cal took Lillian’s hand, enjoying the way Lillian immediately twined their fingers together, and led the way to the door.

  The drive back was tense, both of them keeping an eye out for possible attackers. They’d left Lillian’s car at Teri’s place (“I’ll drive it into the Park tomorrow,” Teri had assured her) because Cal wanted the two of them in the same vehicle, and Lillian had agreed.

  However, they made it back to his cabin without incident, and Cal did a quick perimeter search around the place and didn’t scent any mountain lions.

  He wondered if they didn’t know where he lived, or if they weren’t quite prepared to stake out his home. He hoped it was the latter. The more intimidated they were by him, the less likely they would be to bother Lillian once they realized that she truly was under Cal’s protection, and that his protection wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

  Or ever.

  He joined Lillian inside and found her sitting on the couch, looking around the main area. “Thinking about redecorating?” he asked her, trying for a teasing note. Humor had never been one of his strengths, but he found that he wanted to make Lillian smile if he could.

  And she did—a slow, sweet smile just for him. “Actually, yes I was,” she said. “It makes for a good distraction, and I can see all sorts of possibilities here. Some new furniture, flowers on the mantle, throw pillows...”