Second Chance Lion (Cedar Hill Lions Book 4) Read online

  But that wasn’t the only thing he would have had to come to terms with.

  The sudden sense of just how much Faye meant to him was crowded with the knowledge that he was different from everyone else, and would soon have to leave them forever bearing down on his shoulders.

  He should have kissed her then. He should have let himself find out if she truly was his fated mate – but even as he’d wanted nothing more in his entire life, a voice inside him had warned him of the dangers.

  She’s human. She’ll never be allowed to join the pride.

  They had been so young – only sixteen. It was too young for him to even begin to consider having a mate, in any case. A lion had to take responsibility for what was his: mates were for when they were established and able to take care of a family. Even a fated, lifelong bond had to have a firm foundation – something he certainly couldn’t offer at that age, especially not without the support he knew his pride would never give him.

  And besides that, he knew that Faye, even at that age, had wanted to go out and explore. She’d wanted excitement, and adventure. She’d had no plans to stay in Cedar Hill – she’d wanted to see what else the world had to offer.

  Maybe she would have stayed with him, if he’d asked her to. They could have taken the time to become a little older together, and figure out if they truly were mates.

  And then… if she had been truly my mate… what then?

  That would have meant watching her free spirit slowly die out under the constraints she would have had to agree to in order to be accepted by a pride that was mistrustful of humans at the best of times.

  He couldn’t have done that to her.

  It had been an impossible situation: caught between love and responsibility. Being alpha wasn’t something a shifter could just cast aside. It was something sacred – almost as sacred as a mated bond.

  And certainly something his pride would tell him he had to prioritize, over a girl who might not even be his mate.

  To reject being alpha over the possibility that the human girl he liked might turn out to be his mate wouldn’t only have been letting the current members of the pride down, but the future ones, too. It was a heavy burden, and not every lion was suited for it. He’d been chosen, and there was no way he could simply choose not to do it.

  And yet, there wasn’t a day that went by that Lincoln hadn’t wondered if he’d made the right decision.

  Even now, he still wasn’t sure.

  But he’d learned to carry on, and to live with it. The stakes were too high for him to do otherwise: the survival of the Cedar Hill Ranch pride was his responsibility.

  He’d accepted the shifter bride his parents had selected for him. He’d half-hoped that she might turn out to be his mate, but it hadn’t happened. She’d been a good woman, kind and thoughtful, and an excellent mother. Despite everything, Lincoln couldn’t bring himself to regret having married her, because she’d given him Joe and Casey, their two sons. No father could be prouder than he was of them, and the way they’d turned out.

  Seeing Joe and Sasha together, their mated bond strong and healthy and everything it should be, sent gratification surging through him. In their hands, the future of the pride would be assured, and he could say that he’d done his job.

  And yet…

  And yet.

  Lincoln sighed – not audibly, as Joe was still working close enough by that he’d hear it otherwise. Memories of the girl he’d loved before he’d even really been old enough to know what love was still played though his head on a regular basis. Especially so since his wife had died, though that had been many years ago now. It was a longing that had never left him.

  Cedar Hill was his home and the ranch was his pridelands, and he was connected to them in a way that he knew a human couldn’t understand. He’d never leave them long-term, even if he decided to retire and hand being alpha over to Joe once he got too old to ensure their protection. But every now and then, the thought seized him: What was Faye doing now? Where was she? Would their mated bond lead him to her, if he ever wished to look for her?

  And would she even want to see him, if it did?

  Lincoln pulled his lips tight.

  Well, that’s another question altogether, he thought to himself ruefully.

  Maybe he could have run away to chase her.

  But that would have been impossible, without betraying everything he’d been raised to revere and love.

  His pride.

  His family.

  His lands.

  Of course, Faye had no way of knowing any of that.

  She was a human, and while she might have felt the bond between them, she couldn’t have fully appreciated its meaning, nor Lincoln’s need to stay where he was, and take over the leadership of the pride.

  He couldn’t have explained it – not back then, when shifters were still completely mistrustful of humans.

  And maybe she wouldn’t have believed him, even if he’d tried.

  It was too late now, Lincoln thought. He wasn’t an old man, but he knew that second chances came only rarely. The best he could do now was to know that his sons and nephews would never experience the same pain he had. Joe, Mason and Heath had found their mates, and nothing could part them now. His youngest son, Casey, was just now entering the age when his lion would start to begin the search for its mate, and Lincoln intended to support him, even if it took a long time.

  “How’s that tractor coming?” Joe asked from behind him, as if on cue.

  Lincoln stood, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Busted. Looks like I’m going to have to replace the alternator.”

  Joe nodded. “It’s had a good run, I guess. Means going into town, though – you want me to run in this afternoon?”

  For a moment, Lincoln was about to nod and tell his son he’d appreciate him making the trip, but something stopped him. It’d been a while since he’d last gone into Cedar Hill, and Joe’s mention of the old Campion mansion had reminded him of just how long it had been. His curiosity was up – what else had changed in the town he’d grown up in?

  “I’ll go,” he said, wiping his oily hands with the towel. “Need to get a couple of other things done anyway, and I’m sure Charity and Sasha will have some things they want picked up. I don’t mind doing it.”

  Joe nodded. “Sure thing.” For a moment, curiosity flashed in his eyes, as if he was about to ask his father a question – but whatever it was, it was gone as quickly as it’d come. Joe grinned. “I’ll have Sasha make up a shopping list for you – I think I heard her saying she has a hankering for some watermelon.”

  Lincoln laughed lowly. Joe’s mate Sasha, now in the early stages of pregnancy, seemed to have a different craving every week. Joe hardly minded indulging her – and nor did Lincoln, for that matter. It was a new life for the pride, and nothing was more important than that.

  “Well, I’ll see what I can do,” he said.

  Chapter Two

  Faye

  “Paint, paint… which aisle is the paint?”

  Faye tapped her pen against her lips, murmuring softly to herself as she made her way through the vast space of the hardware warehouse. Cedar Hill didn’t have many big shops, but with so many ranchers around, it did happen to have an excellent – and enormous – hardware outlet, selling everything from light bulbs to tractor tires.

  The work crew she’d hired – a small, somewhat expensive outfit who specialized in hotel and boutique do-overs – were due to arrive tomorrow, and she’d told them that she’d be supplying the paint and some of the other things they’d need for the work.

  It was strange being back here after all this time. There were even a few people she recognized here. The manager of the shop was Kevin McLean, who she’d gone to high school with; back then, his father had been the man in charge, and Kevin had been a quiet kid who never seemed to want to come out on the adventures she routinely organized. He was now a large, red-faced man with a fulsome stomach, whose laugh could be heard thro
ughout the shop. Faye had hardly recognized him.

  She’d ducked into an aisle before he’d seen her – so she had no idea whether he might recognize her. For some reason, she felt nervous at the idea of anyone she used to know seeing her right now. Obviously, word would get around that she was back in town sooner or later. But right now, Faye just wasn’t ready to front up to all the old names and faces.

  Well, the ones who’d stayed, anyway. She didn’t doubt that there’d been other families who, like hers, had fallen on hard times and been forced to move away. Or else, they’d found small-town life just too limiting, and had shifted out to some city or other.

  She wondered if Lincoln had been one of the ones who had left, and swallowed heavily. She was self-aware enough to know that there was a part of her that longed to see him again. But at the same time, she thought maybe it was for the best if he’d moved away, and she had no chance of running into him.

  The last thing she needed was to be making a fool of herself over a man who’d never even been her boyfriend.

  Faye smiled, but there wasn’t much humor in it.

  Would it be so bad, running into your first love again? A traitorous voice seemed to creep into her mind before she could stop it, and she shook her head to clear it.

  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad – in fact, maybe it’d even be cathartic to see Lincoln again, Faye thought. Maybe she’d realize she’d dodged a bullet, or discover that they would have grown apart.

  They’d always been a little like chalk and cheese, anyway. With her determination to be free and his dedication to the land here, she didn’t see how they ever could’ve really been happy when they were young. One of them would have had to give up something important to them to stay together.

  But you’re back here now. The voice stole up on her again as she pushed her cart down the aisle. She shivered a little, and she wasn’t sure whether it was from anticipation or fear.

  Finding the paint aisle, Faye moved slowly down it, looking for the shades she’d selected. She already knew exactly what kind of look she wanted for the bed and breakfast – nothing too swank, as it would look out of place here in the downhome community of Cedar Hill. But at the same time, she didn’t want it to look corny or out of date.

  She hoped the crew would be able to keep some of the wooden beams of the mansion – she was planning to make the dark, heavy wood an accent to the light-colored walls. She already knew she’d have to pay through the nose to get the floorboards totally re-done, and she wasn’t sure her budget would stretch to having to replace the beams on the walls and ceiling as well.

  Excitement pulsed through her as she contemplated the project. This was what she’d always wanted to do – and until now, it had been little more than a fantasy. It seemed bizarre to think that her dream was coming to life before her eyes.

  Reaching down, Faye picked up a can of pale peach paint, checking the number to make sure it was the shade she’d painstakingly selected. It would be perfect for the accent walls: homey, but modern at the same time. Faye’s heart skipped a beat as she set it down in the cart.

  She walked slowly down the aisle, selecting the cans she needed, feeling more and more excited with every step she took. Signing a deal, looking at the architect’s plans, selecting a crew and spending a fortune on interior design magazines was one thing, but holding the actual concrete proof in her hands that she was really doing this was quite another.

  Faye just hoped she’d made the right decision, and this wouldn’t turn out to be more of a nightmare than a dream come true.

  Her cart loaded down with cans of paint, Faye heaved it forward to head to the next aisle.

  Who knew paint would be so heavy? she thought to herself as she strained to push the cart along. She knew she was in pretty good shape – five years of mountain climbing while she’d lived in Chile had made sure of that – but this was something else!

  Pausing, Faye took a quick breather, leaning against the cart. She’d been planning to pick up a few other supplies while she was here, but now she was starting to think she might need two trips.

  No, that’d just be a waste of time, she thought to herself as she started heaving the cart forward again. She still had plenty of things to get cleaned up before the crew arrived tomorrow, as she’d promised them a clean working space so they could make a proper assessment of what needed doing. She didn’t have time to be running back and forth to the shops like this!

  Gritting her teeth, Faye made her way slowly toward the bathroom fixtures, only to be stopped short by the sound of a voice coming from just behind her.

  “Ma’am, do you need any help with that?”

  The voice was quiet and a little husky – a nice voice, Faye decided, soft but manly. But that didn’t account for the jolt of electricity that suddenly lit up her nerves in the moment that followed, her breath catching in her throat.

  Forcing herself to focus, Faye shook her head. “No, that’s fine, I’m –”

  She turned slightly to look at him – and came face to face with the person in the whole world she was least prepared to see.

  Lincoln Whittaker.

  Faye’s heart pounded against her ribs – all thoughts had left her head, and all she could do was stare up at him, totally speechless.

  The Lincoln she’d known at sixteen had been handsomer than she knew how to describe, with curls of sun-bleached hair that fell down over his forehead and the body of a young god. Now, his hair was darker, with just a touch of gray at the temples, and a little sprinkling of salt’n’pepper throughout.

  Clearly, he was older – his skin was no longer unlined, and he wasn’t the young man he’d once been. He had matured, his eyes sober, his smile more cautious. But now, he looked better to her than he ever had before.

  Her attraction to him hit her hard, in a way she wasn’t prepared for at all: her heart thumped, her stomach flipping over like a pancake. Faye had never forgotten Lincoln, but she’d never suspected she’d react quite like this to seeing him again.

  Finally managing to collect herself, Faye blinked. She knew she ought to say something – to act casual, as if she hadn’t been both dreading and dreaming of this moment for years. But when she opened her mouth, the only thing that emerged was a soft, “Oh.”

  “Faye,” Lincoln said, and for the first time, Faye realized that he looked just as shocked as she felt: his eyes, dark gray and framed by thick lashes, were wide, his lips slightly parted. He looked utterly stunned. Then he too blinked, and seemed to shake himself. “I… I didn’t realize you were back in Cedar Hill.”

  Faye licked her lips. Come on, get it together, she scolded herself. She’d hiked in the Amazon and abseiled down a sheer rock face in Bolivia. Surely she could handle seeing a ghost from her past?

  “I only just got back,” she said, forcing the words past her lips. “Just a few days ago.”

  Lincoln didn’t say anything. His eyes moved past her and to the cart filled with paint – and Faye could anticipate his next question.

  “I’ve bought the old Campion mansion,” she said, not quite sure why she felt the need to blurt it out so quickly. “Well – the bank owns most of it. But you know, I did always have that dream, to…”

  “I remember.” Lincoln picked up where she had trailed off. “You used to say you wanted to fix it up and live there, and be friends with the ghosts.”

  Faye stared at him. Sure, they had known each other a long time, but this was something she’d said back in elementary school – did Lincoln really remember that far back? She’d half forgotten the part about the ghosts herself.

  She laughed, a little shakily. “Yeah – seems like I talked about it more than I thought I did.”

  Lincoln’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “You always did have dreams.”

  Faye sucked in a quick breath, pain suddenly lancing through her chest. It was true – and Lincoln’s tone had held no note of recrimination whatsoever. But his words still served to remind her of wh
at had driven them apart.

  “So did you,” she said, her voice a little tight. It had just been a shame that their dreams had been so very different.

  Lincoln looked down at her, his eyes warm – though Faye imagined she could see sadness in them too. For the first time, she noticed that his arms were full. In one hand, he held what looked like some kind of car part, and in the other there was… a watermelon?

  As if reading her gaze, Lincoln laughed, soft and low – and once again, her belly did a little flip. “For my daughter-in-law. She has one of those pregnancy cravings.”

  Faye couldn’t account for the sudden stab of pain in her chest. His daughter-in-law? That must mean he’s…

  Well, of course he’s married, Faye quickly scolded herself, trying her hardest not to notice the disappointed throbbing of her heart. A man like Lincoln wouldn’t have been off the market for long. He’d been considered the hottest catch in Cedar Hill, back when they’d been young – and even more so because he’d never seemed to be actively taking advantage of it. There’d been no string of girlfriends, no casual flings, even though he could have had any girl he wanted.

  And anyway, even if he wasn’t married, I’m not interested. You can’t bring back the past, Faye thought firmly.

  “Well goodness, congratulations,” Faye said, recovering her manners quickly. “That must be special – is it their first?”

  Lincoln smiled, and Faye couldn’t help but notice the way her heart sped up as he did so. It was still the same smile, after all these years: wide and easy, like he was smiling just for her.

  “That’s right,” he said. “My eldest son. He got married… well, must be two years back now. Time flies.”

  Lincoln’s smile became a little wistful. Faye swallowed as she watched it fade a little. She could feel the same sadness creeping over own heart.

  So much time. All gone.

  “And your wife,” Faye said, hearing the words come out of her own mouth as if unprompted, “is she someone we knew back then?”