Lion's Mate: BBW Lion Shifter Paranormal Romance (Rowland Lions Book 2) Read online

  That thought leached the color from his face. After a long pause he said faintly, “Please never do such a thing.”

  Shoshanna raised her eyebrows and waited. After a long moment, he said, “Yes, all right, I understand.”

  He sounded so disgruntled that she almost laughed, but when he went on, she was glad she hadn’t.

  “I suppose putting my own goals above others’ feelings has always been a problem of mine.” He took a slow, careful breath. “I could blame my upbringing, or how important my job truly is, but those would be excuses. I want to be the kind of mate who does put your feelings above my goals. But for my entire life, my instincts have been trained in a different direction.”

  “So,” Shoshanna said cautiously, “are you saying you can’t do it?”

  “No,” he said instantly. “The idea is just foreign to me. I don’t know if I can really let you put yourself in danger in my place.”

  “That’s not what I meant. You don’t have to let me do anything. You just have to understand that I’m going to come with you and we’ll face whatever’s wrong together.”

  He looked around at their position, sitting in a clearing after she’d knocked them head-over-heels. “I’m beginning to understand that.”

  “Good.”

  “I may need some help implementing that understanding.” The words sounded like they hurt him coming out.

  She looked around at their position herself. “Clearly I’m happy to provide.”

  He chuckled at that, just a little huff of breath.

  She was surprised at how well this was going—that it had turned into a real conversation, instead of a fight. She’d known, after all, that Max was just like her: a stubborn, arrogant, loner control freak.

  So to hear him admit that he’d been in the wrong, that he should have talked to her before making any decisions, and asking her to help him make a different choice in the future...It wasn’t just reassuring, it was humbling. Maybe Shoshanna had a thing or two to learn from her mate, here.

  “How about I promise to talk to you about it, instead of chasing after you and pouncing on you?” she suggested.

  There was a twinkle in Max’s eye. “That seems like the less interesting option.”

  “No,” Shoshanna said thoughtfully, “I think you’d get bored of me always catching you. No lion can outrun a cheetah.”

  She’d been trying to make the twinkle grow into a laugh, but it didn’t work. Instead, he pulled his hand away from hers. He looked...guilty?

  “What is it?”

  He shook his head. “Nothing. But that reminds me, I did have a reason to be out here. I was checking to see if anyone’s been watching the house.”

  All thoughts of mating and relationships fled from Shoshanna’s mind, chased away by a fearful chill. “And?”

  Max’s sober expression told her the answer before he spoke. “I caught the scent of two unknown men,” he said. “Human, and very recent—probably last night. They smelled like leather and gun oil.”

  Shoshanna let out a shaky breath. “Well, I’m glad I didn’t let you leave when you woke up.”

  “Me too.” Max stood up. “How about we go back to the house, then, just in case they come back?”

  Shoshanna stood up too, but she was thinking. “They’re probably not out on foot now, not after whatever initial scouting they did. If I were them, I’d be parked a mile or two down the road, in that little turnoff into the forest, so I could watch anyone heading out of the woods. You wouldn’t even need two cars, because if you drive the other way, you just go further into the forest until you hit a dead end.”

  “That makes sense. Still, it’s best to stay inside until we know for certain.” Max led the way back to the house. Shoshanna took in the leaves and dirt clinging to his back with amusement. She was probably in a similar state, but there was something about Max that was so...urbane, and polished, that a little thing like getting dirty seemed like it could never happen to him.

  They hiked back to the house. It wasn’t too far, because Max had just been doing a patrol around the edges of her property.

  As they walked, Shoshanna thought about what Max had found. It wasn’t just a possibility anymore, not just an overreaction or a specter from one of her nightmares. These were real hired thugs from a real company with real drugs to shoot her with, and maybe even a real lab to take her back to, tie her down and bring in their own doctor...

  And Max, too.

  That seized her with fear. Max didn’t know what might happen to him. Max had never lived through something like that.

  And if Shoshanna was capable of anything, he never would.

  She should tell him about the lab, she realized. He might not have any idea what could happen to him, and Shoshanna’s experience was valuable intelligence.

  It would be painful to talk about. She’d never had to tell anyone—the only other important person in her life these days was Kevin, and he’d been right there with her. He knew everything that had happened, because it had happened to him, too.

  But this was part of deciding things together, not making unilateral decisions for both of them. She’d tell him, and then they could sit down and decide what to do next.

  The idea of taking some kind of action filled her with determination. She wasn’t going to sit around here and wait for Elite thugs to show up and tranq her. She was going to take the fight to them.

  Max had said he’d been investigating them, so he must have some information about where they were and how they operated. If they pooled their resources, surely they could accomplish a lot.

  Max held the door for her when they got to the house. The chivalrous gesture was strange, given that Shoshanna had come out in her cheetah form to hunt him down, but she found that she liked it.

  She wondered what it would be like to have Max here all the time. Holding doors, helping with the dishes...sleeping in her bed.

  Although from how he talked, he made himself sound like a workaholic. Would he be gone all the time? Getting up before dawn to go to the office, coming back at midnight and falling into bed?

  Shoshanna didn’t have much room to accuse someone of being a workaholic, of course. Maybe they could have midnight work parties together, like she did with Kevin sometimes. Except the breaks would involve a lot more than pizza and Kevin’s seemingly endless library of dumb-but-funny Youtube videos.

  That sounded...kind of nice.

  Maybe. Maybe once they took care of Elite.

  Inside, Shoshanna picked up her phone from where she’d left it by the door, automatically checking it for messages. Nothing, but as she was looking, it started vibrating in her hand.

  She didn’t recognize the number, but that didn’t mean anything—she used her cell phone for business calls because, frankly, the only non-business person who called her was Kevin, and half the time they talked business anyway.

  “Hold on one second,” she told Max, who nodded and withdrew discreetly to let her take the call in private. After a moment, she heard his footsteps on the stairs.

  She answered the phone. “Hello?”

  “Hello, I’m trying to reach Ms. Shoshanna Ross,” said a female voice on the other end.

  “This is she.” Shoshanna looked around for a notepad and pen, just in case this was actually work and she wanted to note down information.

  “This is Alexandra Rowland, from Rowland Global Solutions,” said the woman. “Your agency has done quite a bit of detective work for us, I understand, Ms. Ross.”

  “That’s right,” said Shoshanna on autopilot.

  Her brain was racing ahead of the conversation. Alexandra Rowland? She was the CEO’s sister. She practically ran the company. All of the other business from RGS had come in neat official emails from some paper-pusher in the security division. She’d never gotten a personal phone call from Alexandra Rowland.

  “I’m afraid what I have to tell you is somewhat sensitive,” said Alexandra. “Are you alone?”

 
Shoshanna glanced at the hallway where Max had disappeared. He was unlikely to hear her one floor up, especially if he was being discreet on purpose, and he certainly wouldn’t hear Alexandra. “Yes.”

  “I suspect that my brother, Max Rowland, the CEO of RGS, has gone missing.”

  Max Rowland.

  Shoshanna was seized with a sudden, awful suspicion. She forced herself to ask in a normal voice, “What makes you believe he’s missing, ma’am?”

  “No one’s seen him for over twenty-four hours, which I grant you is normally not much cause for concern. However, my brother doesn’t miss work. He certainly doesn’t miss it without giving notice. He’s not answering his phone, he’s not at his apartment, and he hasn’t been to the office. He called his secretary earlier this morning to cancel his appointments—after missing a few already—and she said he was terse and unlike himself.”

  Over twenty-four hours. Max Rowland. “And you suspect foul play?” Shoshanna managed.

  “I do,” Alexandra said firmly. “It’s possible that he’s absolutely fine and he’ll be furious at me for calling you, but I would rather take precautions, particularly since I’m currently in Hong Kong and can’t do anything about the situation myself. Max personally left a note in your agency’s security file stating that you were trustworthy and recommending you over any other private investigators in the system. I would like to retain you on my own behalf, not through RGS’s account, to locate my brother. If he’s in trouble, call me immediately and we’ll discuss what the best course of action is.”

  “Certainly,” Shoshanna said. Her voice sounded distant to her own ears. “I’m between jobs at the moment, so I can get right on this. I’ll have results for you as soon as possible.”

  “Excellent. I’ll get you the usual paperwork. Thank you very much, Ms. Ross.” Alexandra Rowland hung up.

  Shoshanna looked at the phone in her hand. She looked at the stairs. Then she pulled up Google image search.

  Searching for Max Rowland yielded plenty of results. A smiling, smooth mask greeted her in every one. It was expertly hiding any and all of the emotions that she knew lay under the surface of the man upstairs.

  Her mate was Max Rowland.

  CEO of Rowland Global Solutions. Her most consistent client.

  He’d left a note in her security file.

  He knew who she was. He knew who she was. She didn’t have to tell him about her time in the lab, after all. He must know about it.

  After all, Seth, who’d been in the cells with them for only a day before getting them all out, had been Max’s brother. The rumor had been that Max himself had been to the lab, had broken them out personally, although Shoshanna had never seen him.

  Had he seen her?

  Clutching her phone in her hand, having to concentrate not to squeeze it so hard she broke it, Shoshanna started for the stairs.

  ***

  Max was grateful for Shoshanna’s phone call, because it gave him a moment to think. He retreated to her bedroom and closed the door to allow her privacy for her call, and sat down on the bed to work through what he was going to do.

  He’d meant his speech to her out there in the woods. He’d meant every word. When he’d set out to comb the area around her house for intruders, he hadn’t thought about what Shoshanna would feel when she woke up and he was gone.

  Even if he had thought about it, he wouldn’t have realized just how angry she would be. It was an easy jump from that to his plan to leave.

  Until now, he’d been thinking primarily in terms of her safety. But now he had to think, really think, about what would happen when Shoshanna woke up and Max really was gone.

  Not only gone from the house, but vanished utterly from her life. No explanation, no further contact, just absent.

  Leaving her alone.

  When he’d thought about staying away from Shoshanna these last months, and when he’d been planning to leave her over this last day, Max hadn’t thought of that. No, he’d been selfish, like she’d said. Imagining himself making this noble sacrifice, living out his days in solitude so that his mate would be safe.

  He hadn’t thought of it as abandoning his mate. Leaving her alone in this house. No one to talk to, no one to help her clean the kitchen, no one to sleep beside her. For years.

  Now that they’d met, he couldn’t even imagine that she might find someone else—as much as that made him furious to envision, at least it would have meant she had some comfort. Not anymore. She’d met her mate, after all, and there were no options beyond that.

  This was all leading him to the same inescapable conclusion: he couldn’t leave. Not without telling her the risks, not without letting her decide for herself what protection she needed.

  And that was even without taking the Elite personnel into account. Now that they were here, now that they knew where she lived...he was going to have to tell her everything.

  He heard her footsteps on the stairs, and turned to meet her.

  He wasn’t expecting her to slam open the bedroom door like she was an avenging angel, come to strike him down for his sins.

  She was furious. He could see it in her face, in her fiery black eyes, in her heaving chest, her knuckles going white where she grasped her phone.

  What could have happened? Who had been on the phone?

  “Tell me one thing,” she ground out. He could hear the anger in her voice, but there was something else he hadn’t expected—hurt. She was hurt? What had he done to hurt her?

  “Anything,” he said honestly. He didn’t know what this was about, but he’d do whatever it took to make it right.

  “Did you see me in that lab?”

  It felt like the floor dropped out from under him.

  She knew. She knew.

  This was it. And Max wasn’t going to be anything less than honest. “Yes.”

  He’d meant to sound clear and strong, owning up to his choices, but he missed the mark. His voice sounded cracked. Pained.

  He’d hurt her. And that hurt him, like nothing in the world had ever hurt him before.

  Shoshanna set her phone carefully down on her dresser. Then she clenched her fists so tight, he could see her fingernails digging into her palms.

  “You knew we were mates,” she said, slowly and carefully.

  “Yes.”

  “You stayed away from me for six months. Why? Why would you do that?” Her voice was more than hurt, it was anguished.

  Max forced himself to stay where he was. Every cell in him was yearning to go enfold Shoshanna in his arms, pull her close, tell her it was going to be all right.

  But he was the one who’d hurt her. If he tried to comfort her, she’d probably punch him, and he’d deserve it.

  “I did it to protect you,” he said instead, knowing it wasn’t going to be adequate. But it was all the explanation he had. “I wasn’t sure if any other members of the company had been working for the lab. And I was actively pursuing companies with similar agendas, like Elite. It wasn’t safe.”

  “It wasn’t safe?” Shoshanna’s voice rose into a yell. “And who gave you the right to decide what kind of risks I take with my life? How come you got to see me, to know I was your mate, and then decide that I wasn’t allowed that? That you got to know, but I didn’t? What did we just agree on, outside? Do you even remember?”

  “I remember,” Max said quietly. “I promise you, that agreement changed my mind. I was planning to tell you when you came up here. And I won’t make that mistake again. But...that wasn’t the only reason.” This part was painful to admit, but he needed to be completely honest. “As CEO of RGS, the lab was my responsibility. Overlooking its existence was inexcusable on my part. I didn’t think you’d want to know that your mate was the person who let you suffer like that. I should have admitted it right away, but I was too much of a coward. I never wanted you to know. I’m sorry.”

  He expected another furious rebuttal. He was ready to take any recriminations, at whatever volume and intensity she c
hose. He deserved all of it.

  Strangely, though, his second confession stopped Shoshanna in her tracks. She was staring at him, the rage draining from her face.

  Then her lips twitched.

  Max frowned in confusion. Was she laughing?

  She was. She put her fingers over her eyes and started to laugh. It was pained, even bitter, but it was laughter.

  “What’s funny?” Max inquired cautiously, after this had gone on for a few minutes.

  Shoshanna put her hands down. “I’ve been keeping a tally,” she said.

  “Of what?” He had no idea where she could be going with this.

  “Of all the ways we’re the same. So far I have stubborn, arrogant, loner, control freak, hates sharing personal information. Sound familiar?”

  She was looking rueful. He said, “It sounds very familiar. I’m used to being in control of every situation I find myself in. I don’t enjoy giving it up. I don’t do it very well. I like having all the information and making the decisions about what to do with it. But...I wouldn’t say that you’re the same.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Wanna bet?”

  “You’re stubborn, definitely, but the rest of it doesn’t seem like you,” he said...stubbornly. “You took me into your home without question, you’ve been kind and generous and respected the fact that I was obviously hiding secrets.”

  “I live alone,” she countered, “I have one friend in the world and I boss him around constantly. I don’t tell anyone about my past. I didn’t tell you about the lab even though you were risking the same thing happening to you. But I also wouldn’t let you go off on your own when you wanted to because I thought I knew better.”

  “You did know better. Elite is watching your house.”

  That made her shiver. For all her bravery, for all her independence and her stubbornness, she was genuinely afraid of Elite.

  It made sense. She knew what could happen. After all, it had happened to her.

  “That’s not relevant,” Shoshanna said, visibly pushing her fear aside. Max was overwhelmed by her courage. She said stubborn like it was a bad thing, but if stubbornness was keeping her going in the face of what had to be her worst nightmare, he wished her all the stubbornness in the world.