Putting the Heart Before the Horse Read online

  “I should let you get back to studying,” Hope said as she stood.

  “Feel free to drop in any time you need someone to talk to.”

  Hope returned to her room, feeling a little better, but still not able to face the rest of the family. She grabbed one of the well-worn novels from the bookshelf, changed into her nightgown, and climbed under the covers. She read until her eyelids were drooping with heaviness and the book slipped out of her hands, but it didn’t stop her from imagining ways that her first introduction to the family might have turned out better.

  In the morning, she awoke to the sound of hoofbeats thundering past her window.

  Chapter Six

  Josh woke early, as usual, and lay in bed for a moment, as usual, until he was fully awake and remembered that yesterday had been very unusual. Introducing Hope to his family had not gone well, and he had the feeling he was partly to blame. Hope had been tired and nervous, and certain members of his family tended toward the stubborn. Maybe he should have told her she could skip dinner.

  Nothing that they couldn’t overcome, he thought. He just wanted his family all to love her as soon as they met her, just like he had.

  He hadn’t had the chance to go out last night, and after the visit to Hope and the plane rides, he wanted nothing more than to shift and run as fast as he could. And maybe roll in the dirt a little. He pulled on his clothes quickly and headed to the back door.

  Almost as soon as his feet touched the ground, Josh shifted. He took a deep breath, scenting the cattle on the wind, with a faint trace of the sheep. He could almost taste the pollen from flowering plants and trees. It smelled like spring was kicking into gear.

  A lanky young colt trotted by, and he recognized Ian by the bay coat and white socks. Ian pranced in front of Josh for a moment, then kicked up his heels playfully. Josh stretched out his neck and pretended to nip at Ian’s flank. Ian squealed, which Josh knew would embarrass him if he ever mentioned it, and took off at a run away from the house.

  He trotted after Ian towards the north pasture, passing other horses basking in the early morning sun, some grooming each other’s coats. When he reached the fence line, he jumped over it and increased his speed to a full gallop, letting the wind rush past him and feeling the grassy ground give slightly beneath his hooves. The cows ignored him and kept grazing, long since used to the sight of horses appearing and disappearing in their pasture.

  When Josh reached the northwest corner, he slowed a bit and started looking for the perfect place to roll around. He knew from watching others that it looked ridiculous, the big barrel of the horse’s body flailing around, the spindly legs waving in the air, the snorts you couldn’t help letting out. But it felt too good worry about looking silly.

  After a having a nice long roll and shaking off the dust from his coat, he headed back to the house at a slower pace, roaming a little and keeping his eyes out for problems. The fence line looked fine, the cows were calm, and he didn’t scent anyone except his family.

  Judging by the sun when he reached the house, it was after ten. Unable to resist, he cantered up to Hope’s bedroom window and let out a ringing neigh. The curtains parted, the sash raised, and she leaned out the window.

  “Oh, my God,” she whispered. “Look at you.”

  Josh paced up to the window and blew softly into her outstretched hand. She cupped her hand under his chin and scratched gently. He stood there and enjoyed feel of the sunshine warming his chestnut coat and the simple pleasure of her touch.

  “I’ll come out and meet you, okay?”

  He bobbed his head in a nod and backed up, letting her retreat inside and close the window. By the time he reached the front with his slow walk, she was waiting on the porch. Giving in to impulse, he sidled up to the side of the porch and turned, presenting his flank to her.

  “Are you...going to change?” Hope asked. “I can’t really talk to you when you can’t talk.”

  He tossed his head and then craned his neck around, trying to gesture to his back.

  “I don’t really know what you’re trying to say. God, I feel stupid.”

  He felt his ears flatten down. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel stupid. He’d just hoped that they’d figure out a way to communicate with him in stallion form. He backed up and stretched to nuzzle gently at her face, then returned to his former position.

  “Do you—I really hope I’m not offending you again—do you want me to climb on?”

  He whickered and nodded again.

  “Okay,” she said. He could hear her voice shaking. “Here goes nothing.”

  Before she could move, he took a blanket that was hanging on the porch rail and tugged on it with his mouth. She quickly got the idea, draping it over his back to provide a bit of cushion for her.

  Standing rock-still, he waited while she carefully climbed over the porch rail and eased herself onto him. The sensation of her weight on his back was unfamiliar; horse shifters almost never allowed anyone to ride them, unless there was an emergency. But they were both on edge, and words hadn’t worked for them last night. He’d offered to carry her as a gesture of trust, and she’d returned it.

  Hope moved around a bit, trying to settle. “Tell me if I do something wrong, okay? I’ve been riding before, but never quite like this.” She wrapped her fingers in his mane, not tugging, but enough to help her feel secure.

  Josh eased into motion as smoothly as possible, letting Hope get used to the gentle pace. Aside from a few shaky breaths, she seemed to be okay, and the more he walked, the more comfortable she got. So he gradually sped up until he was trotting, as smoothly as he could possibly make his gait. From above him, he heard her laugh breathlessly, and a surge of possessiveness welled up in him. He wanted this forever. He wanted her with him, as a stallion and a man.

  She tightened her legs around his barrel, and he figured she might be ready for more speed. He eased into it, giving her time to adjust, but soon he was cantering.

  He kept an ear out for any sign that Hope was having a problem, but she seemed fine, and he gave in to his body’s needs. Even with that morning’s exercise, he was still eager to go, to feel his horse form almost pushing the air out of his way, as it was meant to do. The feeling of freedom took over, suppressing almost all conscious thought. He just let his body take over and run, run, run.

  The wind streamed through his mane and tail, the same way it must be streaming through Hope’s hair. Even though they were in different forms now, with her on his back it felt like they were joining together and becoming one.

  Eventually he began to slow, easing to a walk, and then coming to a halt. He let her slide off his back, then shifted back to human form, clad in his flannel shirt, jeans, and boots.

  “Whoa,” she said as he reached out to steady her.

  “I hope that’s a good thing.”

  “Of course! Some little girls are really into horses, and I think I understand why, now. You’re just...beautiful,” she said almost shyly. “To feel the muscles moving under your skin, and the way you absorb the shock each time you hit the ground—it’s not like anything I ever felt before. I didn’t even know enough to dream about it.”

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Josh said.

  “God, I just realized—when I said ‘whoa’ I didn’t mean it like you normally mean when you say it to a horse,” she babbled, her fair skin turning red. “I just meant it like, ‘wow’, as in, “wow, that was amazing—”

  He reached out and took her into his arms.

  “I know,” he murmured. “It’s okay, you can relax.” Hope tightened her arms around him and rested her cheek against his chest. The sweet smell of her hair wafted up, and he breathed it in, stroking her back, enjoying the feel of her body pressed to his.

  “I know I said something really stupid last night,” she said, her voice muffled.

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. It was rude, and I said it in front of your whole family. I was trying to
be funny, but it came out all wrong.”

  Josh released her and lifted up her chin to look in her eyes. “I should have stayed with you while you met everyone and got adjusted. I was trying to give you some room and let you go at your own pace, but you probably just felt abandoned.”

  “A little,” she admitted.

  “I didn’t want to rush you. That didn’t work out so well the first time.”

  “Can we go somewhere and relax a little bit? I’ve got some things I want to talk about with you.” He must have looked panicked, because she quickly added, “Nothing bad!”

  He looked around to get his bearings. Without realizing it, he’d been headed toward the south pasture, to the spot he’d told her about in the Chicago airport. He bent to pick up the blanket that had fallen when he shifted, took her hand in his and started walking. “This way,” he said.

  ***

  Hope drank in the beauty of the landscape around her. This. This was what she had missed, living in big cities. The light was brighter, the air cleaner, and the sounds sharper. They soon reached a creek, and she recognized the place he’d described to her. The sun shone just enough to bounce off the leaves and water, but the trees sheltered them. He guided her to a fallen log and spread the blanket over it to make a place for them to sit. It was perfect.

  “It’s so beautiful here,” she said. “Just like you described it.”

  “I’m sure everyone has their favorite places they go, when they need a break from everyone.” He shrugged, stretching his legs out in front of him. “I’ve never run into anyone else here, so maybe they know it’s mine.”

  They sat quietly for a few minutes. Hope turned her face up to the light, feeling like a cat taking a lazy nap in a pool of sunshine. If only she could live her whole life in perfect moments like this.

  “What did you want to talk about?” Josh asked, breaking the silence.

  Hope fumbled for the words she had practiced over and over last night, lying in her bed. “I haven’t really told you much about growing up on my dad’s ranch.”

  She had to pause for a moment and swallow past the tightness in her throat. Why did she feel like she wanted to cry?

  “After my mom left, it was almost like I’d lost my dad, too. He spent more and more time off working with the cattle, or flying off on business trips. So I spent a lot of time by myself, in places like this. I think maybe it’s why I became a writer.”

  “How’s that?”

  Hope turned toward him, straddling the log “I got to travel to all kinds of new, beautiful places. And a few that weren’t so nice. But wherever I went, Rome or London or Cairo, writing about it was a way to share it. It made me feel like I wasn’t always by myself.”

  “These places you’re talking about, I’ll probably never see them,” he said.

  “I know how lucky I was to travel so much, and I loved it all. But it’s not enough anymore.”

  “No?” He moved to face her, and she marveled at how much he belonged in this beautiful place, as wild as the wind, as bright as the sun, and as steady as the rocks in the water.

  “No,” she replied. “Now—I think I might be ready for a place like this. With someone like you.” He brushed a strand of hair back from her face, and she leaned into his touch.

  “I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “I hope we can give it a try.”

  She had to kiss him. She tugged him gently toward her, then pressed her lips to his. For a moment, neither of them moved, and the kiss was more sweet than sexual. But then his mouth opened under hers, and everything changed.

  His hands cradled her face as they kissed deeply, breaking off and then returning to each other over and over again. The first time they’d made love, on the night they’d met, it had been urgent, each of them chasing sensation and eager to express the connection they felt. Now, they had leisure to explore and linger. She kissed the corner of his mouth, his cheek, his neck, anywhere she could reach, so she could learn him by heart.

  But that leisurely feeling evaporated when he pulled her back into an even more urgent kiss. She moaned and sucked on his tongue, but broke off with a gasp when his hands moved down to her breasts.

  He pulled back to gaze at her face. “I still can’t believe how beautiful you are. How lucky I am that I can touch you.”

  “Come on,” Hope said. He looked puzzled but followed her as she stood up. She pulled the blanket off the log and laid it out to cushion the ground.

  “Really?” he said, looking shocked, but also pleased.

  “Yes,” she said. “I need to be with you, now.” This wasn’t like her at all, to be so daring, but meeting Josh had changed things for her. And if things had changed, why shouldn’t she change as well? Why should she be nervous, if Josh was there with her?

  Hope sank down onto the blanket and drew Josh after her. She moved quickly, leaning over him and unbuttoning his shirt so that she could kiss his chest and stomach. He threaded his fingers through her hair, and she’d never thought that anyone scratching her scalp could be so erotic. But each individual tickle of sensation seemed to combine and unite as a throbbing heat between her legs.

  She trailed her hand down his chest and toyed with the sensitive skin above his waistband. His stomach muscles tensed under the light touch, then jerked in a gasp when she moved her hand to stroke his cock through his pants.

  “Come here,” he said. “I want to touch you.”

  She shook her head. “I’m touching you right now.” She opened his pants, encouraging him to lift his hips so she could work them down to his knees. Then she pulled his cock out of the slit in his boxers.

  At first, she just ran her fingers over it, enjoying the soft skin over the hardness. Gradually, she increased the pressure and curved her fingers around until she encircled it with her hand, stroking up and down, up and down.

  “Your hand feels amazing,” Josh panted, pushing up into her grasp.

  She thought for a moment about what her new, bold self might do. “Then this should feel even better,” she whispered as she bent down to take the head into her mouth.

  “Hope!” he cried. It was half protest, half excitement. She ignored the protest and curled her tongue around him, flicking under the head. His outstretched hands curled and tore at the grass on either side of the blanket. After a few moments, she began moving, slowly pushing down to meet her fingers, then pulling back up.

  It felt powerful, especially after having seen him shifted, the way he’d carried her on his back as if she were light as a feather. He was a magnificent animal, but even more, he was a powerful and caring man.

  “Oh, God, Hope.” He cried her name and tensed under her, then just barely stifled a groan when she let him slide out of her mouth.

  “Can I ride you again?” she suggested wickedly.

  He flushed as he caught her meaning. “I can’t. I don’t have anything with me.”

  Hope fumbled in her pocket and fished out a condom, waving it in front of him. “Just in case.”

  “You made plans,” he said with a pleased smile. “You little devil.”

  She quickly slipped out of her shoes and jeans and helped Josh out of his boots. His pants and boxers followed next, and she leaned in to steady his cock as he tore into the condom wrapper and smoothed it over himself.

  He set his hands on her hips as she swung a leg over him and centered herself right above where she wanted to be.

  “Ready?” she asked.

  Josh moved one hand up to pinch her nipple through her shirt. “You’re in charge.”

  That’s right, she was. She could take it at exactly the right speed. Bracing herself above him, she slowly lowered herself onto his cock, feeling it stretch and fill her. Slowly, slowly, wanting to savor every inch of it, until she came to rest flush against him and he was completely inside her.

  She took a few seconds, not moving, just looking down at Josh. In the sun, his hair had streaks of gold in it, and his face was peaceful. He met her gaze, and she almo
st couldn’t believe how much love shone out of his eyes. He wasn’t thrusting up into her or trying to make her move. When he said she was in charge, she meant it. Hope hadn’t had that many lovers, but she’d never had one who was willing to put her needs so far ahead of his.

  She rocked her hips gently back and forth, just enough to send twinges of sensation through her. The position gave her the opportunity to experiment, to figure out what angle put exactly the right pressure on that spot between her legs. Leaning back slightly, supporting her weight with her hands braced on his shins, she chased that pressure, moving more and more, up and down. She only realized her eyes had closed when they flew open at the touch of Josh’s fingers rubbing her, sending her pleasure skyrocketing.

  “Come on,” he murmured to her, his fingers speeding up. “Let me watch you come.”

  She felt embarrassed for a second. What was she thinking, making love outside, exposed, where anyone could find them? But his fingers knew what they were doing, and soon Hope was unable to think at all as she pushed into them and tensed around his cock and shuddered with the pleasure that took over her body, until the only places that felt real were those where she and Josh touched.

  After an endless moment, she slumped down on him, breathing heavily. He tucked her head under his chin and whispered soft words to her, about how beautiful she was, how amazing she had looked, how he spent every minute of every day wanting her. His chest heaved under her, and as she regained awareness, she could feel him harder than ever inside of her.

  “You’re awfully patient,” she whispered.

  “It’s one of my better qualities,” he teased. Her breathless laugh was cut off as Josh rolled them over, slipping out of her body briefly, but then driving in and wrenching a cry from her. It felt almost too good, pleasure on the edge of pain.

  “Okay?” he asked, panting.

  “Yes, yes,” she keened as she slid her hands down his body and pulled him even deeper into her. After that, the end came quickly as Josh thrust over and over and finally stilled with a groan, shuddering against her.