Putting the Heart Before the Horse Read online

  He withdrew and rolled to the side, gathering her into his embrace. It was a long time before their hearts stopped pounding.

  Chapter Seven

  They walked back to the main house, hand in hand, Josh pointing out buildings and features as they passed—one of the barns, Mark’s woodworking shop, the tree Josh had fallen out of when he was fourteen. He worried that Hope might get tired; it took a lot longer to cover the ground on two legs than it took him on four legs. He promised her that tomorrow, they’d get in his truck and he’d give her a real tour. For now, she seemed to be content to walk with him and gaze at the scenery around them.

  She squeezed his hand to get his attention. “Do I have any chance with your family now?”

  “Of course,” he reassured her, guiding her around an uneven patch of ground. “Really, it wasn’t that bad. They’re good people.”

  “I don’t really feel like I got to know anyone individually. Except your Uncle Rick, maybe. He seems nice.”

  “He’s really the rock of the family. He’s closest to my dad in age, so when my parents died, he kind of took over the job. I was a pain in the ass for a few years, there.”

  “It’s understandable,” she said consolingly. “I’m sure it was so hard for you to deal with.”

  “I wasn’t the only one who got hurt, though. He lost his brother just like I lost my dad, and it wasn’t that long since my grandparents had died. Since my dad was the oldest, it was like Rick suddenly had to be in charge of the younger kids like me and Allison. I think it’s only in the last few years that he’s been able to relax. He pretends to be grumpy when he’s cooking, but it makes him really happy.”

  “What’s he look like when he shifts?” Hope asked.

  “He’s big—bigger than me, with a gray coat. Not dappled, like a lot of gray horses, but a solid dark gray.”

  “Of course he is.”

  He looked over and saw she was laughing. “What’s so funny?”

  “It’s not funny, it’s just amazing. The way you’re still the same person, even when you’re shifted. I never realized it was like that.”

  “You thought shifters were just animals?”

  “No!” Hope protested. “I didn’t mean it like that!”

  He tried to hide his smile from her, but she caught him almost immediately and swatted at his arm with her free hand.

  “You and your teasing are going to drive me crazy.”

  He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it. “Well, you sure drive me crazy, so it only seems fair.”

  Her chuckle was cut short as she stumbled away from him. She fought for balance for a moment, casting her arms out, but recovered to stand upright.

  “Are you okay?” he asked in concern.

  “Fine. I just tripped over something.”

  They both turned to examine the ground, and the problem was soon obvious. Hope’s foot had caught the edge of a hole in the ground.

  Not just a hole that happened to be there, Josh saw. And not just one hole. The ground was dotted with them, spread through the grass everywhere he looked. If he had to guess, he’d bet that someone had taken a post hole digger and gone through the field at random.

  “These can’t be natural,” Hope said, frowning down at one and prodding the edges with the toe of her shoe.

  “No,” Josh said grimly. If a cow stepped in one of these, they could break a leg. More importantly, so could he or any of the other shifters on the ranch. It wouldn’t be fatal, as it almost always was for horses, but it would still hurt like hell. “We’ve got some neighbors who think it’s funny to pull stupid stuff like this. Don’t worry about it. I’ll get Connor out here to clean it up.”

  They reached the house at mid-afternoon, almost time for the kids to return from school. Other people were out across the ranch, working on various chores. Without them, the house was a little more peaceful. The scent of baking bread wafted from the kitchen, and the open windows let in a light breeze and the sounds of the birds outside.

  “Is there something I can do to help around here?” Hope said.

  “You’re a guest,” Rick tossed over his shoulder as he walked by with a load of laundry still warm from the dryer. “Guests don’t work.”

  “I have to do something. I can’t just sit around and twiddle my thumbs,” she insisted, immediately ruining the effect by letting out a huge yawn she covered with her hand. Sheepishly, she added, “I guess I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

  “Why don’t you go take a nap?” Josh suggested. “It’s quiet right now, but it won’t be for long.” He could see that she wanted to protest, but all that came out was another yawn.

  She gave in to the inevitable. “Okay, okay. I’ll lie down for an hour. But after that, I’m going to find out a way to help.”

  As Hope walked off, Rick returned, having deposited the laundry basket on Ian’s bed for him to fold when he got home. “How’s it going?”

  “It’s going well,” Josh said, unable to stop the broad grin from spreading across his face. “Really well.”

  Rick frowned at him suspiciously but didn’t ask any further questions. Josh was grateful for his forbearance. “How long is she staying?”

  “It’s open-ended,” he replied. “I didn’t want to pressure her.” He didn’t dare make the same mistake he had before, after he’d scared her by bringing up marriage. Hope loved him—he knew deep in his bones that it was true. But love wasn’t the same thing as a lifetime commitment, and he wanted nothing less. To wake up every morning next to her, to face life’s challenges with her by his side, an equal partner in everything he did.

  “Bread’s gonna burn,” Rick said. Josh followed him into the kitchen. He pulled a pitcher of iced tea from the refrigerator and poured two glasses.

  “Is this what it’s like for us? Every time?”

  Rick set the loaves on the stove to cool, then reached for the glass Josh held out. “Like what?”

  “I just knew, as soon as I saw her. It was like...like being struck by lightning.” Josh knew he sounded foolish and lovesick, but he didn’t care. Rick wouldn’t use it against him.

  “She’s your mate,” Rick said with a shrug. “It’s not the same for everyone. Sometimes it takes you a while to realize it. Sometimes you know right away.”

  He couldn’t imagine looking at Hope and not feeling that soul-deep tug. Or knowing that she was out there somewhere, and not being with her. What would he do if she left? If she didn’t want to live on the ranch, be a part of this family? He shoved those thoughts aside and tried to tell himself there was no point in worrying about something until it happened.

  “She’s really embarrassed about what happened yesterday at dinner.” He grabbed both glasses and dumped out the ice in the sink. Rick pointed at a bag of potatoes and then snapped his fingers, so Josh grabbed them and dumped them out on the counter.

  “What, the barn thing? That wasn’t anything,” Rick said.

  “I’ve tried to tell her that, but she feels like she insulted everyone.”

  “She said something stupid. It happens. God knows you do it often enough.”

  He picked up a potato peel and flicked it in Rick’s direction. “Very funny.”

  ***

  After she arose from her brief nap, Hope wandered into the kitchen, where she spent some time peeling potatoes and carrots, despite Rick’s best efforts. He chased her out a half-hour before dinner, which gave her time to take a quick shower. Normally she only showered in the morning, but the last thing she wanted was to spend an hour at the dinner table, all the while knowing that she and Josh had rolled around on the ground and...done some other things.

  By the time she had finished drying her hair, it was time for dinner. Okay, she thought to herself. Time to see if I can get through a meal without putting my foot in my mouth.

  Fortunately, everyone seemed willing to pretend that nothing had gone wrong the night before. Hope bantered with Rick, sitting next to her, and helped one of th
e smaller children cut his meat. Instead of being wracked with nerves, she felt safe and included. And, she thought to herself as Josh put his hand on her leg under the table, loved. She felt loved.

  She offered to help with the small mountain of dishes, but it seemed to be the responsibility of a few older children. Most of the rest of the house was occupied with organizing the nightly bath and bedtime rituals. She found Josh at a card table set up in the den, helping Ian with his algebra homework.

  “You get stuck on homework duty?” she asked.

  “All hands on deck,” he said. “I don’t mind the math, so that’s where I usually end up.”

  “I never liked algebra.” She looked down at the equations scribbled in Ian’s notebook. “I did much better with geometry. I guess I understood it when I could see the shapes.”

  “Ian’s pretty good with algebra, aren’t you?”

  “It’s okay,” Ian said with a shrug.

  Josh rolled his eyes behind Ian’s back. “He’s twelve. He doesn’t admit to liking anything.”

  Hope resisted the urge to laugh, knowing that she wouldn’t have appreciated a stranger laughing at her when she was twelve. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

  After the younger kids were in bed, she joined a group of people watching television. Josh wandered in after a while and settled next to her on the sofa. It felt almost scandalous sitting next to him, but at the same time, it was comfortable, enjoying his warmth and the companionship of his family.

  The next morning, Hope indulged herself by sleeping late again. It seemed like a luxury she hadn’t had in a long time, since her job often required arriving at the airport in time for early-morning flights. By the time she wandered into the kitchen in search of coffee, there was no sign of anyone, children or adults. She figured the kids were probably at school, and the others were out doing whatever they usually did on the ranch.

  There was coffee in the carafe, so she poured herself a cup and put it in the microwave to heat. That morning’s copy of the Denver Post lay on the kitchen table, and she flipped through it looking for the crossword. No one had filled it out; she grabbed a pen and worked on the crossword while she drank her coffee.

  “Ionic,” Josh said over her shoulder.

  “Excuse me?”

  “26-Down. ‘Architecture type,’ five letters.”

  “Thanks.” She filled the letters in and took a moment to marvel at how good he looked in a simple long-sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. His hair was slightly mussed from the wind outside, so she stood and brushed it back from his forehead.

  “Morning,” he said, leaning in for a brief kiss.

  “Morning,” she replied.

  “I usually work on that at night,” he said, gesturing to the crossword.

  “Oh, I didn’t mean to steal it.”

  “It’s fine. I’m sure there’s another copy or two lying around the house.”

  “Sorry I got such a late start.”

  “Nothing to be sorry about. Though I’m impressed you managed to sleep through all of the chaos.”

  “I usually sleep with earplugs,” she said, gesturing to her ears. “Hotel rooms have thin walls, so I just got in the habit.”

  “Getting all of the kids out of here in the morning takes forever.”

  “They’re all old enough for school?” she asked, taking her coffee cup to the sink and rinsing it out.

  “The ones that live here. My Uncle Chris and his partner Luis have a three-year-old and a six-month-old.”

  “Where do they live?”

  “St. Louis. They’re both architects.”

  “I love St. Louis,” Hope said. “It’s got such great food and music.”

  “I haven’t been there since the baby was born. I need to go for a long weekend or something.”

  She finished rinsing the mug and put it in the dish rack to dry. “So what are you doing today? I can just hang out here and stay out of everyone’s way.”

  “Right, I’m going to bring you out here and let you just sit around all day while I go out and work on the ranch.” Josh rolled his eyes at her and poked her arm gently. “I did think of something that might be fun, if you’re willing to give it a try.”

  “Of course. What is it?”

  “I thought I’d keep it a secret for now.” His eyes sparkled, like a gleeful child with a secret.

  “It better not involve...” She scrambled to find something suitably ominous. “Bugs. Or snakes. Or rock climbing.”

  “No rock climbing?”

  “Not without warning.”

  “Got it,” he said. “No spontaneous rock climbing. Luckily not what I had in mind.”

  “Then I’m up for it, whatever it is.”

  He stretched out his hand to her. “Everything’s in the truck and ready to go. Come with me?”

  In response, she took his hand and let him lead her out the door, into the sunshine.

  ***

  They drove for fifteen minutes or so until they reached the open field that Josh had in mind. It was a perfect day for the expedition—not a cloud in the sky, and a good wind coming out of the north. When the truck came to a halt, he got out quickly and moved around the other side to open Hope’s door.

  “A picnic?” she guessed, sliding out of the seat.

  “No.” He gave into temptation and kissed the tip of her nose, loving the way her eyes scrunched up as he leaned in. “But that’s a great idea. We should do it sometime.”

  She looked around to survey the area. “Lying in the grass and falling asleep?”

  “Sounds fun. But we’d get sunburned.”

  “I’m running out of guesses.”

  He stepped over to the truck bed and pulled aside the blanket that was covering his surprise. Hope looked in confusion at the mass of nylon fabric in his hands. “Impromptu sewing class? Now I’m really running out of guesses.”

  “Does this help?” He handed her a spindle with string wrapped around it, one end leading into the fabric he held.

  She stared at the fabric, then looked up at the sky. “Oh, I think I’ve figured it out!”

  “Hold on to that, okay?” He took a few steps backward, shaking out the fabric until he found what he was looking for. Lifting his hands above his head, he shook the fabric out. “Ready?”

  As the kite caught the wind, it rapidly rose above the two of them and unfurled, more and more of its shape was revealed, until it finally reached its full extension.

  “Oh, how beautiful!” Hope gasped, holding the spindle loosely in her fingers as the kite rose, extending the string more and more.

  The turquoise dragon floated above them, its wings outspread and its tail dancing in the wind. Orange stripes on the wings and down the tail blazed out against the blue sky, almost blurring as the kite swooped and dived.

  “Isn’t it great? It’s the one I got Ava two years ago, the one I told you about. She let me borrow it, but I had to promise not to lose it and to bring it right back to her when I was done.” It had also helped that it was for “Miss Hope,” who was currently in Ava’s favor for having let Ava pepper her with questions about the recent plane ride.

  “Here, do you want to try?” Hope offered him the spindle.

  He stepped over to her and pressed his chest against her back, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Why don’t we try it like this?”

  She hummed happily and relaxed into him, resting her head on his shoulder. For several minutes they stood their together, perfectly content to watch the kite and enjoy each other’s closeness. Even though the kite flew through the sky and he ran on the land in his stallion form, watching the kite gave him the same feeling of motion and freedom.

  “It’s funny,” Hope said. “Until we were in that toy store, I hadn’t thought about flying kites in years.”

  She trailed off, but it felt like she still had something else to say. He waited, silently encouraging her, but not wanting to push her.

  “I guess I forgot stuff like that. Good
memories. I spent so long feeling like I’d lost him—lost my home—that all of the good stuff started seeming...small. Unimportant.”

  “I’m sure your dad did the best he could,” he said gently.

  “He did,” Hope said. “I wish I’d made sure he knew that.”

  “He knew you loved him,” Josh assured her. “And he knew what a treasure you were. Just like I do.”

  She nestled closer into his embrace, and he wrapped his hands around hers on the spindle. As the wind blew harder, the kite tugged at the string, but together, they held it steady.

  ***

  After another excellent and hearty dinner, Hope felt a bit like she could feel herself gaining weight as she sat there. Her insecurity twinged, but she reminded herself that Josh appreciated her curves. And he’d been the one to offer her a second helping of the apple cobbler.

  In fact, no one around the table had given any sign that they worried about their weight. None of the women talked about being “bad” when they had a cookie, or “cheating” when they had a second bread roll. Everyone worked hard on the ranch, or at their other jobs, and they enjoyed the good meals provided for them.

  Hope resolved to try and follow their example. Enjoying the meals was the easy part, and she definitely had that down.

  She went searching for Josh and found him on one of the sofas, reading a book to Ava. She watched them for a moment, loving how cute he was with his nephews and nieces, as he spoke in a funny voice to make Ava laugh. Hope couldn’t help laughing herself.

  “Hey,” he said, looking up with a sweet smile. Her stomach leapt at the sight of it, and she wondered if he’d always have that effect on her.

  “I thought I might go out and walk for a little bit, look at the stars.”

  “You want company?”

  “I’m good, I think. Is that okay?” she asked, suddenly worried that he’d take offense.

  “Sure. Let out a yell if you need anything.”

  After a moment’s hesitation, she leaned down and kissed him briefly. He caressed her cheek as she pulled away.

  It was a beautiful night, one that reminded her of the ranch she’d grown up on. Stars filled the sky, so many that it almost looked artificial. She’d forgotten how much more you could see in places without any light pollution. Her father had taught her to identify a few of the easiest constellations, and she picked them out without any trouble. Orion and his belt, the Big and Little Dippers, Gemini.